Victim consciousness is so prevalent in our society and prevents so many people from being happy. I cannot even count how many people I meet or know who see themselves as victims – bad news and bad things always come their way and they are resigned to it (“I never get a break,” “I get all the bad luck,” “He/she/it did this to me!”, etc.)

Victim consciousness is the lowest level of consciousness, and it is where a large majority of people reside. They believe things happen TO them. Until they realize that they have control over their happiness/success/achievements/financial position/etc., they will continue to live in fear and remain victims.

Newsflash: until you get out of victim consciousness you cannot thrive and be happy! Good things will NOT happen to you when you are a constant victim. Many people have NO idea that they alone have control over whether good or bad things happen in their lives, and it all evolves around our energy.

There are other levels of consciousness in between, but the ultimate goal is to be in harmony with who you are, to just be. It takes a LOT of work to get there, and I hope to do so one day in all areas of my life. But the concept is beautiful, especially if you think about what the planet would be like if people lived in this manner!

Personally I am not a victim vampire (that’s what I call people who are always the victim, as it drains my energy to speak with or be around them – I know you know someone like this), but there were parts of my life which I lived as a victim by accepting circumstances despite the fact that they were neither ideal nor made me happy. So in some respects I was a victim; unless one reaches high levels of consciousness we all do or have/will live some aspects of life as a victim.

For the last few years of my marriage I was not treated as I deserved, and I kept thinking it would get better, or that I could change it by myself. I tried feebly to do so but was shut down and had to go on offense, so I stopped trying. From that point I stopped using my voice to find ways to connect and have meaningful discussions about my concerns. Things got worse and my feelings toward my former husband began to change drastically.

I did not stand up and speak my truth for a long time, and believe me that is so opposite of who I am as a person. I think many of us give up when conversations continually become arguments or situations become too much effort, and I was just tired of the scenario. It brought me down and now when I look back at photos or videos of myself I see such unhappiness in my eyes; I carried so much pain in my physical body and I can see that too now.

After some time I set boundaries and ultimatums – we either went to therapy or it was over; we finally agreed on that and commenced a year of couples and individual therapy (and of course I continued to do much needed work on my spiritual self during that time – learning to accept, to be patient, to put myself first, to connect with my god and to let go of so much). I had to change the way I was wired to some degree, elevate my level of consciousness (this is always a process), and do a lot of soul searching. In time things started becoming more and more clear to me, and my intuition told me what I needed to be happy.

To move into a higher level of consciousness you need to be mindful (really think about your feelings and thoughts), set your intentions and act accordingly…this will help you toward awakening. In my mind this means truly loving yourself, realizing that you are the only one who can make you happy, knowing happiness is always a choice, and living your life this way without comparing yourself to anyone else. You can start with little things, like telling yourself how beautiful/smart/talented/capable/strong you are, and taking baby steps toward something that makes you happy.

I was able to survive my divorce and thrive because of my state of consciousness, because I love myself. In the darkest time of my life things were falling into place for me. Instead of blaming others for where I found myself, I accepted things were that way because they simply were, and I moved through it and found so much joy in myself.

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If you are looking for help in jumpstarting your spiritual growth, there are many masters who teach consciousness and how to live a more enlightened life. Michael Beckwith is one of my favorite spiritual teachers on this subject, and I like the way he explains and labels the different levels and guides how to begin your growth work. You can find him and his teachings on the internet.