One of the hardest practical parts of getting a divorce – for many people at least – is thinking about supporting yourself. For me that was scary – no more dual income, no one to help if funds were needed for something not planned. It would all be up to me. I know a few people who stay in their marriages for this reason alone…and they are miserable, literally.

As I processed what I would need to support myself completely I knew that I had to let go of any fears I had about money. This is because if I let my fears gain control over my truth then I would never have changed the course of my life. My truth is that I can do anything I want or need to do because I am abundant – we all are.

I started looking around and noticing abundance – EVERYWHERE. I knew I could have abundance in my life, but I had to get my logical mind to realize that I have all I need. I have a great job, I have clients who love me, I have more skills than most people who do my job, and I truly care about the people I help. From these things comes financial freedom, and it was just a matter of programming myself to realize there was nothing to be afraid of. I learned to trust that there is plenty of work for me, plenty of money. Others have it, so could I.

All of a sudden something just clicked, and I knew that I would be ok. The universe did not help me go through so much to get to the point where I was so healed, happy and grounded, only to lose those things because of a lack of money. I had to trust fully in this notion. The opposite of trusting that I would be ok would have been to worry about it, and worrying creates mental and physical stress. If you are stressed how can you possibly be open to abundance? You can’t. This made complete sense to me. What you hold in your mind you can create in your life, but only if your mind is relaxed and tuned into what matters. So I trusted in my heart, and I literally threw my worries away (I do this every single day).

I started telling myself that I am rich, that I have money saved for a rainy day and that money comes to me. I began to look at spending money as a way to get more money, not seeing it as choking me. I don’t spend frivolously, but I buy what I need and trust that there will be more money to continue to do so. My relationship with money has improved. I have always been conservative with finances and I still am to an extent, but if I need to buy something I don’t fret over it.

When I was married I was the one who handled all the finances, home repairs, savings, etc. I paid all the bills and budgeted for vacations and the kids’ activities, saved for college and put money into the IRAs. I got all the tax information ready each year to send to the accountant, neatly organized and tallied up. Luckily I was used to doing all this, so when I went on my own it was easy. Some people are not as lucky when they get divorced, as they never ran the financial side of a partnership. Many women in particular get into deep water because they do not know the true state of the partnership finances (especially if the divorce is contentious). But don’t be afraid of this – there are plenty of people to help you. The important thing is that you make a decision that aligns with your truth so that you can be happy.

It took time and hard work for me to feel comfortable with not worrying, with trusting the universe and trusting myself. Once my thoughts were focused on my ability to survive solo the worry melted away and I jumped off the cliff without looking down – I knew I could save myself and that the universe had my back. It was freeing and continues to be that way.

The first thing I do every morning when I awaken is to give thanks for my life, my health, my courage and ability to take care of myself, all my blessings and the abundance in my life, for the love I have for my family, friends and my dog, and for the lessons they all teach me. I ask for continued beauty in my life, for courage and guidance to get through challenges, wisdom to continuously bring me closer to god, and for a constant infusion of love in my heart so that I may spread it everywhere I go.