Oftentimes a former partner has difficulty with a relationship taking on a new existence, and that can in turn affect us and our own journey (what I call reverse hiccups). My ex-husband and I are coming together to help one of our children, who is facing some medical challenges right now. It is a time to put aside any negativity and focus only on selflessness and love. Regardless, these situations can get tricky so it is important to continue to stand in your truth and set boundaries.

Recognizing that words and feelings can come from victim consciousness, in which blaming, shaming and attempted manipulation can be coping mechanisms, is important when speaking with an ex-partner to not be reactive. Instead, try to listen and process any responses carefully, in the hope that the messages contained therein might trigger some deep thoughts.

I have written in past posts about victim consciousness, and the rut we can fall into if we remain in that dimension. It is not easy to get out – it is perhaps the most challenging journey one can make in life. It also is not a quick process. It involves a lot of deep diving and exploration of self, which many people are too afraid to do. Most people have no idea how to do this either, and although the idea sounds good they cannot get started…so they stay in a spiral and find it gets easier to blame others for their lot in life. But this never makes one feel better or be able to move forward and find true happiness.

I have gone through a LOT of deep work, but I am the first to say that it never ends – this work is a process that is ongoing. We have to open our minds and our hearts if we want to heal, and that means constantly turning the mirror on ourselves. It is human nature to blame when we feel down, so you must accept that. But where we go from there is how we rectify the pain in our lives and turn it into love. Oftentimes people need guidance on this journey, as it is not easy to figure out by oneself, especially if one is not spiritual and/or conscious. Many people have no idea what it means to be conscious, and that is ok.

Here are some great places to start a deep dive (I have mentioned a few before): seek the guidance of an energy healer (make sure s/he is highly skilled – if you live in the San Diego area I am happy to suggest a few names); learn how to meditate (many people do not understand the reality of this and how therapeutic it is) – there are classes in person and online to help; practice breath work – this will require guidance as well if you are not experienced, and there are many resources online and in books; spend time in nature daily, preferably barefooted; learn to let go (the book Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by Dr. David R. Hawkins is a great resource); WRITE your feelings and experiences down in a journal – try to do this daily even it if is a short entry. These suggestions are a great way to start your journey.

Another beautiful way to tune into your levels of consciousness is to take online classes – Mindvalley is my favorite app (it requires membership but it is well worth it), and there are so many great programs like Life Visioning Mastery with Michael Beckwith (this is a fabulous initiation into consciousness), The Silva Ultramind System with Vishen Lakhiani (Vishen is the founder of Mindvalley and has also authored some wonderful books – this program is a bit advanced and may be best after you have made some progress with deep self-discovery) , Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy with Marisa Peer, A Journey to Infinitheism with Mahatria (LOVE this program), Duality with Jeffrey Allen, and Calling in the One with Katherine Woodward Thomas (learning to love yourself and ultimately find someone to love you).

No matter how you begin to dig into your consciousness, your choices and beliefs, making a choice to do so is the key. There is a lot of help out there for anyone seeking to be truly happy…but it must start with desire, belief and expectation that it is possible. Enjoy the journey!

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If you are on a journey to your reach your highest level of consciousness, are learning deeply about yourself and seeing changes in your life, please reach out to me. I hope to inspire by sharing my own journey and love to hear what others are discovering about themselves!