Scientists talk about being left brained or right brained, and most people can identify more so with one or the other. Left is the logical side, right the creative one. All my life I thought I was left-brained: academic, logical, a type-A who gets things done yesterday, a problem solver…and I am. That is a huge part of me and I embrace it. But I was always a writer, even as a child. I wrote creative stories, editorials in high school that were controversial and made people think, amazing papers in college, strong briefs as a lawyer, a novel, a self-help book, newspaper articles, short stories and a children’s book. Although I never considered myself as such, I realized at some point that I was also right-brained. I was creative! What an epiphany this was for me.

How does this relate to divorce or self-discovery, you may ask? Understanding who you are is the most critical part in finding yourself, so that you can illuminate the pathway to the rest of your life, and be the very best version of you!

I married a right-brained man. He was not an academic, nor educated. He was an artist and constantly had wonderful ideas. I enjoyed being in his easy slow-dance, right-brained presence, as the world in which I moved was a high-pressured left-brained tango. The balance between us was a welcoming respite for my brain and body, and it worked.

When I started diving deep into myself to discover what I needed and wanted with the rest of my life I realized that my creativity is a HUGE part of me. It enables me to help others, to spread my love and light and connect with people; it is what I craved…yet it was not being nurtured. My heart was not all in. I had started a few writing projects, but I had no motivation and the words weren’t flowing. So I would ignore them and continue to lead my life without. But in time I started feeling frustrated that I couldn’t write. It took a long time for me to realize it was because I was not fulfilled nor living my best life.

It took years of working on myself to get to the point where I found inspiration to live my dream, and to do good with the abilities with which I am blessed. I realized through all of this that if we are to achieve bliss, there is no time to deny ourselves that which makes us whole…we simply cannot remain stuck in mediocrity.

Each one of us needs to dive deep to discover WHY we are here. It is not to merely live a satisfactory life – we are here to live BLISSFUL lives! We cannot do that if we are stuck in a job, relationship or living situation that is not contributing to us becoming the best and highest version of ourselves. Life is too short for settling.

A great first step in figuring out one’s best and highest purpose is to start journaling and mediating on important questions. Start by making lists about what makes you feel true bliss – it might be traveling, exercising, eating, being with animals, reading, taking care of others, or being in nature. Sit in a quiet place where you are uninterrupted, and just breathe. See yourself doing the things you love. If you love hiking envision an incredible hike, feel what it feels like to be in nature and fresh air, hear the sounds the forest or wherever you may be. Feel your feet on the earth, live it in your mind. Do this often.

Next, you have to look at the way in which you incorporate into your life the thing(s) that bring you joy. Do you do those things already? Do you only do them sometimes or not at all? Do you only dream of them? Start making ways to do experience them more often, and notice how you feel. You should start to feel lighter and happier, perhaps have more energy and be more positive.

Finding yourself is a journey, especially after a trauma like divorce, but it is necessary to do so. Transformation and happiness ARE possible…it’s never too late to live your best life!