In the first year after my divorce I literally lightened up so much that everything I did, and still do, comes from the love in my heart and is focused on my happiness. I love so much more – people, animals, nature, myself. I am so grateful for my life and my health and my relationships, and so much more. I feel this in my body and my spirit, and I laugh more, dance more, spend more time in nature, celebrate more! It’s a beautiful thing and I am so blessed to experience this. But more importantly, I know this is the only way I will continue to live the rest of my life, and I know that doing so allows me to make a difference, not only in my life but in the lives of others.

Many human beings have lost the ability to be happy. We spend too much time staring at screens, fixated on social media and games, videos, etc. I notice many people don’t even make eye contact any more. When I go into stores and pay in the checkout line I make sure to look the clerks in the eye and smile and say something nice. You can see the surprise in some of their eyes. So many of us no longer take joy in things – so much becomes a chore in the busyness of daily life, and we forget to pause and appreciate the many blessings that make up life.

We need to get back to the way it used to be – face to face meetings and hugs and FUN! I remember growing up and being a teenager. Our form of texting was passing handwritten notes in school, and we had to wait to get home to call our friends on the landline phone. Answering machines were golden. There was no worry about social media. Sure, we still had issues with which to contend. I was bullied by a group of very mean girls in middle and high school, my reputation was soiled by lies and I was treated horribly. But when the same thing happened to my daughter at the same age it was so much worse because of social media. Luckily I had used the lessons I learned to prepare her, from a very young age, for what I assumed would happen to her as well (as she possessed great self confidence, was smart and beautiful, kind and positive – traits that make unconfident and low self-worth young women jealous). The lessons I learned, and passed onto my daughter, are to believe in yourself no matter what others say; those who do not know you and want to hurt you with false words are very lonely, unhappy people; NO ONE can bring shame upon you because they are envious of you and want to bring you down into their victim mentality, despite the initial hurt of the words you are SO MUCH BIGGER than that.

To free yourself and find yourself you must allow happiness and laughter into your life. Put down the electronics and go out with your friends, see your family. Get outside and enjoy nature. Don’t be so serious! I had become so serious before my divorce. I stopped laughing as much, wasn’t interested in food (but wasn’t eating healthy enough), wasn’t having fun and enjoying each new day; instead I was like a robot going through the motions to get things done and get to bed time, then doing it all over again the next day.

After going through the healing process I realized that every moment should be celebrated, even the challenging ones. That is because each moment is not only a gift, but also a lesson. Once you realize this truth and start living life this way you will see some incredible changes within.

People often need help in learning how to lighten up and get reacquainted with their true essence…and that is why there are people who can help. Take advantage of that. If you are healing from divorce and need a roadmap so you can find yourself again and experience joy and light, the first step is easy: reach out to someone. I would love to help you find your highest self so you can live your best life. Please visit my website at http://www.rachelsruby.com/coaching.