Do you know that feeling when you are driving and then all of a sudden you arrive at your destination but don’t remember anything about the drive? Similarly, early this morning I was walking my dog and got to the end of my walk and could not remember whether I took a certain street – I was so caught up on my “to-do” list for the week that I was not present. I forgot to enjoy the way the light filtered through the foggy morning and the dew sparkled on the plants and trees.

One thing I learned in the years since my divorce is that being present is vitally important – not only to healing, but also for peace of mind. It is common for humans to get pulled down into “busyness,” and although taking long walks is part of the way I set up my day so I can focus and be the best version of myself as I dive into my work, this morning I did not do that.

The first thing to do when you do what I did is to pause, realize and accept what happened. I stopped and thought, “ok, I just went through most of that walk while I was completely in my head.” I did not berate myself or get upset, but instead made a point that next time I would remind myself to stay present before I walked out the door. Accepting that I did not utilize all my senses to enjoy the morning journey is important, as that awareness will help next time so that I CAN enjoy the moments.

When it comes to healing, staying present is SO important, as it allows us to feel, make the best choices and also to just BE. These are all necessary in order to figure out next steps and set healing in motion. One great way to set this up so you don’t do what I did (remembering that if you do, it is ok!) is to allocate time in blocks – using a calendar is best (you can use your phone). This is especially important because there are so many phases of healing, and different areas to work on. If you don’t work on one to the best of your ability it will affect the rest.

I usually like to spend a few moments on Sunday night to make a list of things I need to do that week. I list them in categories first – personal matters, work matters, exercise, and self-time/self-improvement. Then I fill in my calendar. Once it is in my calendar it is set! Of course things can change, and then I move them around. But I never compromise on the self-time, because that is the backbone of the entire healing journey. I learned how important it is to put me first…and that is how I got through healing and designing my new life post-divorce.

Try using organizational skills to block out timeframes for all the categories you want to incorporate into your schedule. There may be days you cannot fit it all in, or last minute things that come up. If those events compromise your “me time” then consider sacrificing some time before bed to write in your journal, do a quick meditation, try some yoga poses, or put on some music and dance for 10 minutes. Any of these (or a combination) will reduce stress and assure you go to bed on a positive note – which also benefits your sleep. In addition, you can wake up slightly earlier to give yourself some time in the morning to do something for yourself.

The trick in all this is to make sure you nurture body, mind and spirit every day so that you can be present and be the best version of you. Happy planning!