Last week my mom had surgery. As I sat waiting I thought about how life flows in a series of ups and downs. We have moments of light and moments of darkness. We can gravitate between happiness and helplessness, and all feelings in between. When we are in the negative situations we sometimes feel that we are being victimized or singled out for tragedy and gloom – and this is human nature. We need to feel the feelings that come with those challenges.

In order to put the human emotional state into perspective it is important to remember a few things:

1. The fluctuation in reality is part of life and is completely normal. While it is hard to keep this fact in perspective when we are in the victim state, it is important to remind ourselves of it, because it lets our brain know that the state is temporary (like everything in life). When we tell ourselves that we are in a temporary state and that it will end soon, we calm ourselves down. Of course, these are times to utilize other helpful techniques like breathwork and meditation, which also calm down our systems.

2. You will get back to a better state. Also keep this in mind as it tells your brain that you will move forward. This gives you energy to keep pushing yourself to stay positive. Remind yourself of this constantly.

3. Appreciate the difficult times. I know this may sound crazy, but by being grateful for the challenges you will actually have an easier time moving through them, which or course will enable you to return to the good times. It is incredible how far you can go when you program your mind in positive ways, when you strive to immerse yourself in the right perspective.

While my mom faces some challenges I am choosing to picture her healthy and full of life. I visualize her doing the things she enjoys, smiling and laughing. While I know she faces an unknown road ahead, my mind is focused on a positive outcome. If everyone who loves her thinks this way I believe it will help her feel better emotionally, and when we feel better in that way it can have an impact on our physical state and on healing…so I choose positivity and love.

When I went through divorce there were so many things I had to do at the very start to move forward toward my new life, including packing up and selling the family home of 21 years. It was challenging and physically taxing, but I saw the work as steps toward my future. I chose to take pleasure in all the things I had to accomplish, because completion led to the next chapter, and that is how I got through it.

The bottom line is that you are the creator of your life – but it will not always go according to your desires. Things happen that are beyond our control, so accept that you cannot and never will be able to control everything. This frees the mind to stay more focused on the big picture instead of being stuck in each negative state.

Everything we experience is temporary, so look for the lesson when life veers off path, and focus on that. It will help you to move forward. 🦋