The last few months have been challenging for me, with so much going on and some difficult things thrown into the mix. I was thinking that the last time I felt like this was when I was going through my divorce healing. The difference then was that most everything was within my control – this is one of the most important lessons I learned and it is what I teach.

This time, however, many of the things that are going on are not within my control. The way I respond to them is of course within my control, but I do not choose to ignore them because people I love are involved.

So…in order to get some control back and make sure I am taking care of me, I had to “unstack” myself. I just posted a podcast about this in case you want to check it out. But basically being “stacked” is a term I created for when we have too many things on our plates. If you throw healing into the mix it can get messy, and we can spiral backwards and even into a victim mentality.

There are a few things to remember when we recognize we are stacked and want to get unstacked, so here are some of them:

1. Keep the focus on positivity. As I always say, any healing or changes within start with mindset. No matter whether we are stressed at work, have a sick child, need to find a new job, or have too many responsibilities, we MUST seek the positive in every situation.

For example, if you got laid off and need to find a new job and feel stressed about it, remind yourself that you have time to find a job that truly makes you happy, and take the down time to work on healing and caring for yourself as well. When you incorporate these into finding the new job you will discover that you feel a bit lighter, and that will likely lead you to find the right job.

On another note, if you are helping a sick child or relative it is a reminder of how precious life is, so express gratitude for your own health. Finding joy in the midst of difficulty, or even tragedy, allows us to come out ahead and not only survive, but thrive.

2. Pick one issue to deal with first. When you have so much going on the overwhelm can be your biggest enemy, and can actually cause you to come to a screeching halt. This is a perfectly normal response when we have too much going on. Pick one thing to “tackle” first. Make a list of the feelings associated with that issue. For example, if you have a child going through a difficult time who needs you more than usual, you may experience worry, sadness, etc. Write all the feelings down.

Then, find counter arguments (I know – I sound like a lawyer here) to the feelings, and start to solve problems. This may sound counterintuitive, as feeling sad over a sick child shouldn’t “be” countered, but here’s what I mean: you can simply express gratitude for the ability to find solutions to the problem, such as specialist doctors, natropathic remedies, or different types of therapy.

Next, take steps toward implementing the strategies you discovered. Do some research on the specialists and talk to them, learn about homeopathic remedies, or look into therapy treatments. Most of all, during the entire process make sure you are helping the child to feel better. Buy some coloring books and sparkly markers and sit together to create some art, or read a book aloud. These things will also help you relax and improve mood and attitude.

3. Move onto another issue. Once you start to feel better about the first issue and have made some progress with solutions and implementation of them, you can move onto another issue you need to deal with. Tackle that in the same way as you did the first issue – keep your focus positive, write down feelings associated with the issue, find the counter arguments and start taking action.

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This process can help you create order out of what can feel chaotic, so you can actually move forward instead of being stuck. Using your energy to problem solve and take action is a productive use of energy, which makes it easier to face challenges. Let me know how it goes! 🦋