While it can always be scary to be intimate with a new partner, those who have gone through divorce tend to be more afraid than normal. After all, many came from being in marital relationships for many years, and in those instances there is a comfort level with intimacy (until there isn’t).

In speaking with so many people post-divorce I have learned that the fear of being intimate and getting naked with a new partner is BIG. In fact, it can create dating paralysis in the worst cases. Why is this fear so palpable?

There are many reasons why intimacy can be scary after divorce, comfort levels aside. Sometimes the divorcing couple didn’t have sex for a long time prior to divorce, so there is the question of whether things will “work.” If the person was married a long time and is dating for the first time – in this crazy new dating world to boot – they may feel intimidated. They may be shy with their bodies, which have changed over time since the last time they dated. They may have been shamed by the former spouse, or worse, abused.

No matter the reason or many reasons intimacy is feared after divorce, the good news is that there are ways to overcome the fear, to gain confidence in and acceptance of the body. Changed perspectives about your body will enable and empower you to go out there and embrace intimacy, rather than shun it. It is part of the healing journey, and this is why I strongly feel that it is important to do the self/soul work prior to dating after divorce.

For more details on intimacy post-divorce and how to get ready for it, please tune into my latest podcast series: Sex After Divorce, starting January 3, 2025, with a new episode dropping every Friday in January. These are information-packed episodes, with incredible guests who are top in their fields when it comes to getting ready for intimacy.

You can find The Divorce to Bliss Podcast on YouTube (click here), or on your favorite audio podcast channel. Please do me a favor and like, comment, subscribe and share! I am excited to hear your feedback on this empowering series. 🦋