The Next Love Relationship: No Comparison

I remember when I was merely contemplating my unhappiness within my marriage, and starting to think about scratching the surface to look deep inside in order to find some answers. It was a difficult time and I had no idea how things would go or how to get started, so I was spending a lot of time meditating, walking and journaling – this was the beginning of my healing journey even though I was still married.

Around this time I spoke with the wife of a former business colleague. I had run into him and heard they divorced, and I reached out to her. She said something to me at that time that I always remembered: she told me that the love one finds with another after divorce and healing is the most precious love possible. She was so happy and grounded, and I was happy for her.

I forgot about the conversation until I was years out of divorce and healing, and had started dating. As I’ve mentioned in other posts I was not looking for a relationship when I started dating – and I think this is a NECESSARY mindset for dating post-divorce; it is only possible once you have done the healing work. I wanted to experience meeting different men and connecting with them. I knew exactly the qualities I would not compromise in a partner, but I was not yet ready for that and had no expectations of the men I met.

The clarity I had in being in this position was powerful – I was so proud of myself for all the difficult healing work I had accomplished, and especially for having learned who I am, what I needed and wanted in my new life and in a future partnership, when the timing was right. I knew that the timing would be right when it WAS, so I lived in the moment and had fun.

At some point down the road the right time unexpectedly came, and the connection I had with him was unlike any other in my lifetime. I remembered what the woman told me years before on the phone about the love relationship after divorce and healing being remarkably different than any other…and she was right. My partner literally checks all the boxes on my list – which is mind-blowing. Have you made a list yet? Check out this blog for more information.

The reason I had been able to connect with this man (I never used online dating) was because we had both done a lot of healing work, we both knew what we wanted in a partner, and although neither of us was “on the hunt” for one (those who are never find one, or never find the “right” one), our energies attracted us to each other. The love we share is beautiful – we stay present, appreciative, communicative, and we laugh a lot.

If you are going through divorce or are divorced and need to start healing but don’t know how, please check out my healing programs here. It really makes a difference to have someone help you make a plan and hold you accountable so you can heal. You will be amazed at how things will start to fall into place for you once you do. The work is worth it, and all the riches that come will enable you to live as the best and highest version of you. 🦋

What’s Your Feel-Good Place?

Today I took a long walk on the beach with my dog, as I often do on Sunday mornings. The beach is “my place” – it truly makes me feel good. I don’t go as often as I’d like, but when I do it’s like pushing a reset button. I feel so wonderful for the remainder of the day. It’s the sound of the waves crashing, the color of the ocean – which always changes, the smells of salt water and seaweed, and the cries of the gulls – the connection with nature. There is such magic there for me every time, and even if I don’t make it as often as I’d like to walk the sand, I see it every day (because I live close) and walk trails that have views of the ocean, and it makes me feel happy.

I realized during my journey through divorce healing that I needed to find these calming places even more. I started walking and hiking with my dog every day – I would do 5-6 miles daily (split into early morning and late afternoon), and nature became a necessity – like my black tea in the morning. I craved her presence and silence and beauty, and she in turn helped me heal and find presence within her beauty.

If you are journeying from divorce to find your bliss, it is imperative to find those places that make you feel good – and find a way to visit them as often as possible. It could be a majestic tree in your neighborhood, a lake or trail, or a place you can simply sit and look at a view that inspires you. When we are entangled in sorting out a mass of emotions and trying to learn who we are outside of partnership, these experiences not only calm us and bring joy, but they also bring strength — the knowing that we CAN – because they enable us to be present and quiet.

Here are some guidelines once you find your place to help you heal and reap the true benefits:

1. Turn off all electronics and avoid distractions (like bringing coffee, food, friends, or going somewhere that is loud or full of people, etc.)

2. Sit quietly and use all your senses – smell the air, notice all the colors and how the light plays in your space, listen to the sounds (even if it is silent – especially if this is the case!), and simply breathe.

3. After your experience make sure to journal about it – how you felt, what you experienced.

4. Visit this space at least once a week, more if possible. Notice how you feel after a few weeks.

I’d love to hear about the place where you feel good when you visit, and your own experience healing and visiting this place(s). It’s so good to talk about it, because you may not have even recognized how you feel when you go there, and doing so will help you heal. 🦋

Change Your Routine to Heal

I’ve spoken with people who have a hard time getting out of the daily rut so they can incorporate healing modalities into their daily routines. Many of us get into these patterns of daily behaviors that can become mundane and almost hypnotic – we do what we need to do to get through the day – whether at work or home or within our role as parent or caretaker. It can sometimes feel like when we are driving and all of a sudden we get to our destination, but don’t remember the drive.

Healing is also made more challenging by the way we feel – many of us are sad, lost, frustrated or even experience negative emotions like anger. These feelings can dictate whether or not we will have good days or challenging ones, and how we feel in general.

This combination of routine and difficult feelings can make starting and sticking to a healing journey taxing. So how do we get past this? Here are some things you can try to break up the monotony and feel happier:

1. Change your morning routine. If you are used to getting up at a certain time each morning and going through the same routine to get ready for the day, try getting up half an hour earlier and meditating, stretching, or writing in a journal about how grateful you feel. You can try a different thing each day and see how you feel as you go about your day. I find that expressing gratitude and meditating in the morning upon waking sets a positive mood for my entire day.

2. Alter your commute experience. If you commute to work change things up during your drive. If you normally listen to music pick a completely different type of music, or listen to an inspiring podcast while you drive (try The Divorce to Bliss Podcast – wink). Stay away from listening to the news, as negative stories can actually bring you down and affect your mood…not a good start to the day.

3. Modify the lunch hour. If you usually eat at the same time/place or the same food each day, try instead to go outside and get some fresh air. You can bring an easy to eat lunch with you and find somewhere pretty to sit – even under a tree or in a park. The fresh air and nature will truly make you feel better.

4. Switch up the after-work routine. Whether you go straight home or pick up kids after work, try to incorporate small changes to your routine. Pick up the kids and stop by a park or get a healthy snack, or if you don’t have kids sign up for a class after work (art, exercise, or just a meet-up with friends). Even if you do this once a week the schedule change will be fun and get you out of the expected, so you are not simply arriving home and not remembering the drive. Plus, when we have something to look forward to all day we tend to be a bit happier.

Once you start incorporating small changes to your schedule, note how you feel and write it in your journal. If one or a few things feel good, keep them up. But also change them around after some time so you keep up the sense of experiencing differences in your routine, which defies expectation and gets you excited. At this point you can start working on an aspect of healing and setting time aside every day for it – such as every morning or every evening after dinner.

If you need help creating a healing plan please feel free to reach out to me. Sometimes there is so much work to address that it can seem overwhelming, so it is important to focus on baby steps and on one type of healing at a time. But starting with routine change is a great way to rev up your body, mind and spirit so you can do the work and grow into the new and best version of you. 🦋

How Dance Helped Me Heal from My Divorce

If you are a follower or have read my book, you likely know that I extoll the virtues of dance and movement when it comes to healing. If you have not tried it, what are you waiting for? You do not have to be a dancer or even coordinated to use dance as therapy, and the benefits are positively incredible, and can usually be felt pretty quickly.

We all have been touched by music at some point in our lives, and different songs bring back memories or cause us to feel happiness, pain, and many other emotions. Movement to music is organic and has been practiced by humans since the dawn of time – in religious or cultural ceremony, preparation for big events (from hunting/gathering to test preparation to healing). Dance is the body’s way of expressing and letting go of negativity or stagnant energy that is stored within, often things we may not even realize are holding us back from healing and progressing forward.

The best way to start using dance in healing is simply to turn on music and let your body move organically. Use music with a beat that calls to you – it can be rock, tribal music, or any other type of music. My one suggestion is NOT to use music that is negative or uses lyrics about relationship or lost love. You want positive music that makes not only your body, but also your spirit, feel good and want to move. You can close your eyes and feel the beat for a bit, then just let your body take over.

When dancing do not think about whether you are doing it “right” or “well,” because with dance there is no right way to move when it comes to healing – your body will guide you to move organically in ways that feel good. The way you move to the music one time may have nothing to do with the way you do the next…and that is perfect.

Dance helped me heal from divorce in a BIG way – it was such a physical and emotional release that after a session I would often start laughing from pure joy. I still incorporate it in my life often. There is pure joy in the movement and release…try it and let me know how it feels for you!

Why Your Former Spouse Blames You

When I divorced years ago I was already deeply enmeshed in my healing journey. I had started working on me slightly over a year before the actual separation, because I had been unhappy for years and had been ignoring it. I had some pretty big signs from the universe that it was time I stop beating around the bush and figure out why my life was not fulfilling and what I needed and wanted to make it so.

My former spouse and I spent a full year trying to work out our issues. We went to individual and couples counseling, and of course I continued with my own healing work. Anyway, the therapy did nothing for me personally, other than confirm my own conclusions. I was getting into MUCH deeper work than what the therapist provided, but still I made an effort because we had each promised to do so.

At some point months after the separation my former spouse started sending texts asking me to get back together, which started out nice, but with a slightly manipulative tone. Then the messages started to get angry and blaming. He was in a victim state. I wanted so badly to help him learn how to get out of there so he could be happy (I truly want that for him), but of course I cannot teach him that – read on.

Many people with whom I speak have similar issues, and some even get pulled down into that blame – and feel awful. First we need to understand that when someone in a victim state is putting the onus for their unhappiness on someone else, it clearly means the victim has not healed. Someone who is unhappy and does not know how, nor want to heal (or both) actually feels better, temporarily, if she or he can put the blame on another. Blaming means we do not take responsibility, and is a coping mechanism.

Here is one of the golden rules when it comes to being human: NO ONE is in control of how your life turns out BUT YOU. No one can “make” you happy or otherwise. It is the job of each individual to create his or her own happiness. Until this is realized, victims will remain victims and stay unhappy.

If you are a person who continues to blame someone else for the state of your unhappiness, you need to wake up and learn how to help yourself heal. Until you do this you will remain stuck in a well of negativity. I know this is true because I help people climb out of that well, and I see the results. Doing the work changed my own life – I met the true me, learned what I needed and wanted in my new life that I was creating, found an incredible amount of joy in EVERY SINGLE DAY (and continue to do so), and accomplished all the goals I had set for myself while I was going through my healing journey.

The moral of this post is to get out of your own way and start doing the work. If you are doing it and someone is trying to bring you down, you need to learn the tools to set boundaries, lay down the law (for yourself and the person trying to break you), let go and stop looking back – for starters. Doing these things requires a lot of inner work, and some of it is very hard and scary. Many people need help with formulating a healing plan, and that is more than ok.

Know this: when you get through that dark tunnel, when you come into the light and feel it shining on you, I promise that the journey will have been worth it. 🦋

You Have All You Need to Heal and Succeed

So many of my clients and people with whom I speak tell me they “can’t heal,” for various reasons they perceive to be true. Some feel they don’t have the energy to do so, others think they are not strong enough or possess so much fear that they literally remain glued to their circumstances and feelings.

The interesting thing is that once we start deconstructing the limiting beliefs in our own minds, it becomes possible for ANYONE to heal! Healing is a journey, and for many people it is hard to know where to start and what the next steps are once we have accomplished one small step. That is why it is so important to work with someone (like a healing coach) who can help you plan a route through healing and also be there when a pivot is needed, and to support and hold you accountable.

Here are a few ways to start the healing process with what you already have within.

1. Notice feelings, statements and thoughts. This is a great way to start the healing process, because all it requires you to do is to be aware. Once you start doing this it can feel overwhelming to see how much negativity is within…but keep at it. Every time you have a negative thought, feeling or make a negative statement: stop yourself, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Then replace the thought/feeling/statement with something positive.

For example, if you have a negative thought about your former spouse or make a mean statement about him/her: stop, close your eyes and take a deep breath, then replace it with a positive one (such as “he/she helped me bring 2 beautiful children into this world,” or “s/he supported me when I started a business,” or “we used to laugh a lot together”).

2. Stare fears down. If you are feeling fear about something, address it. Recognize if for what it is and realize that it is perfectly normal to be afraid of change and of the unknown. Don’t chastise yourself for being afraid, as it simply IS. But realize that as you heal your fears will dissipate and you will become more confident. Remind yourself that you ARE confident and worthy, and that you can move past the fears. As you journey though the healing process you will learn to let the fears go and no longer control you.

3. Change negative energy into positive energy. One of the most common reasons people trying to heal on their own get stuck is because of negative energy within. It is important to learn how to replace the negative energy with positive energy. A big reason we need to do this is not only because the negative energy will keep you stuck and unable to succeed at healing, but also because it can manifest itself within your body, such as through disease, pain and mental blocks. This can happen physically, emotionally and spiritually and keeps us from moving forward after divorce or any trauma.

In order to substitute the negative with positive energy, we need to really pay attention to the signs our bodies and minds provide. For example, if you have a pain within the body, start realizing when it appears, and if you get out of that situation does it go away? I realized this at the end of my marriage and it was one of the biggest epiphanies – my pain literally LEFT my body when I was away from the source of stress. Once you discover this, pay attention to it and evaluate it. As you realize the source of the pain/feeling you can learn to control it and start diving into the “why” and the fear surrounding it.

4. Keep record. I tell all my clients to write down their feelings and successes in a journal, however small they may seem. Each baby step means you are making your way through the healing journey, and every step should be celebrated. Writing them all down gives us a huge boost of confidence when we look back to see how far we have come. Once you are healed and living the new life you have created for yourself you will be so proud of yourself when you look back through the healing journey you have documented.

5. Stay active and move the body. Energy needs to be moved through us, and to get the negative energy out and invite positive energy IN, we need to move every day. Walk, dance, exercise, play sports…whatever feels good to your mind and body. Doing these things also releases endorphins, which make us feel better…and when we feel better we tend to be more positive – win win!

6. Eat healthy. This is also a MUST when healing. If your car had to be driven on a long trip you would fill it with gas, put air in the tires and make sure it had oil, right? Those things give you the highest chance in succeeding to get to your destination. Our bodies are similar, with the exception that we MUST use the best and cleanest nutrients in order to succeed. Stay away from sugar, fatty foods, fried foods, fast food, GMOs, alcohol, mind altering substances, and non-organic produce. Stop eating so much meat, and if you must eat it make sure it is sourced from a reputable farmer and does not contain antibiotics or other substances that can harm your body. If you need help, see a nutritionist.

7. Get help. Often the healing journey can be overwhelming, and it is hard to know which steps to take first and what steps one may even need to take. Furthermore, once you do start making headway, it is hard to know where to go next…AND holding oneself accountable can often be the demise of the healing journey. Find a healing coach who can tailor a specific program that fits your needs and helps you tackle your own challenges, so that you can heal and create a beautiful new life after divorce. 🦋

Have You Made Your List?

Dating after divorce can be daunting, but if you have done the healing work and are ready to jump in, don’t be discouraged. The most important thing is that you are able to attract the kind of people you want to be around, and the best way to do this is to be prepared.

How do you know that you are ready for dating? The answer to that question is that you will just know. I understand that this sounds a bit far-fetched, but once you start feeling really good about your healing you will feel a lightening within your body, mind and spirit. You also might start thinking of dating at this time.

When you are coming to the part in your healing journey where you are starting to feel it might be nice to date, it is time to make your list. This is a list of qualities/attributes you need and would like to see in a future potential partner.

There are 2 things that are important in making this list: 1. Realize that the list will morph as you move forward in your dating journey – you may remove or add things you experience meeting people and spending time with them. 2. There are no rules for this list, other than for you to realize that no one is perfect and no one will fulfill all the qualities on your list.

The idea in making a list is to provide some accountability for yourself. It is easy to meet someone who has a red flag that might be a quality or situation that does not serve the new and improved version of you…but say you feel a strong attraction to that person and move forward with seeing them (or seeing them again). The list is there to hold you accountable – only you know what you DESERVE, what you need, and what will compliment the new person you have become. Most importantly, once you have done the healing work you will value your self-worth – part of the reason for making the list is to remind you of this, so you can put YOU first.

The next word of caution is to be strong about the things on your list for which you will not compromise, as doing so would go against all the hard work you accomplished to heal. For example, if you meet someone who doesn’t treat you the way you know you should be treated, don’t even waste your time. If it sets off a red flag in your mind, trust that…no matter how attractive a person may be.

Also, one of the qualities on everyone’s list should be that the person is “available.” This means they too have done any needed work and are ready for a committed relationship when the time is right or the right person comes along. If someone tells you right off the bat that they are “not ready” for a serious relationship, even if you are just starting to date and want one at some point when the time/person is right, you may want to think twice about dating that person. Unavailability means they have unresolved issues and some healing work to do. The same goes for those who say they are in the process of breaking up with someone…this does not serve you nor all the hard work you put in to get to where you are. It is a self-worth nightmare.

The other great thing about a dating list is that once you do find a great partner down the road (if that’s what you choose), you can look back at your list and see if you followed through and found someone with the important qualities you wrote down. Sometimes we find people with qualities we did not even consider nor know we needed in a partner. Regardless, it is always interesting look back at the list.

No matter what is on your list, the reason for the exercise is to tell your brain that you expect to date people who value you, respect you, and are truly interested in you. Why? Because if you haven’t figured it out by now, YOU ARE DESERVING OF HAPPINESS!

Using Music to Heal from Divorce

Music is good for the soul, and it plays a big role in most of our lives. It enables us to be brought back to a time in the past, bring ourselves out of a bad mood, or create a number of feelings within. What you may not realize is that music can actually have a detrimental affect on your divorce healing process.

For many of us, our intuition tells us to turn on the music when we need a pick-me-up, and that is a fantastic thing to do…BUT certain kinds of music can actually bring us down instead of providing the energy boost we needed. The interesting part is that many people have no idea this is happening and could not tell you why they feel worse after listening to music – whether it is immediately or some time later.

According to studies, music stimulates areas of the brain that are linked to reasoning, memory and emotion. It is used in many forms of therapy for patients recovering from illnesses, memory loss, and within the psychological realm. Music has an amazing capacity to heal…but when it comes to divorce healing there is a caveat.

As many songs are about relationships, lost love and break-ups, listening to them can subconsciously cause us to feel down. If we are feeling sad, lonely, fearful, or experiencing other negative emotions related to divorce, listening to music about feeling down does not seem to be a logical solution to help improve mood! We need to stimulate the feel-good hormones and the areas of the brain that will improve mood and emotional capacity.

One great way to do this is to sensor your music temporarily. You can create your own playlist of feel-good songs or you can switch to spiritual music – there are many phenomenally talented spiritual artists out there – Trevor Hall and Satsang helped me get through healing in a big way. Their feel-good sounds and messages allowed me to get lost in the music, dance, and feel better overall. I completely switched over to this type of music for an entire year, but you do you – you are the only one who knows how you feel.

I advise trying this for a short time – perhaps 2 weeks. Notice how you feel and whether your moods seem to improve, and write about it in a journal. It is fascinating to notice this once you are aware. Let me know what you discover! 🦋

The Challenges of “Grey Divorces”

We all know that divorce is challenging for many reasons. But what about for those going through “grey divorce,” otherwise known as midlife divorces, or those that occur after 50? Grey divorce has skyrocketed in the U.S. since the 2020 pandemic, with the most significant increase (tripled!) in divorce rates occurring in the 65+ range over a 30 year period.

It is interesting to note that studies found these higher rates are likely a result of the evolution in societal tolerance of divorce (which in my opinion still has a long way to go), and also on the growing financial and independent status of women (also a long way to go – but that’s a story for a different type of blog).

With these high numbers of older divorcees out there in the world also come different hurdles – let’s take a look at some of them.

1. Financial Independence/Job Market Challenges. Grey divorces can take a toll on finances, and mostly for women who gave up careers to raise families. Many of those women never went back into the workforce, or may have done so part-time or not in the capacity of the former career they may have had. The ability to support oneself can be a stressor when going through divorce, especially if getting back out into the job market and honing skills is involved. But there is a lot of help out there in this arena today, so my advice is to stop being afraid and figure out what you love to do, then find a way to make it happen. Meet with a financial planner first and create a plan so you know what your situation looks like and you are able to sustain while job hunting or going back to school, etc.

2. Being Alone Midlife. This is a very real fear for many grey divorcees, as aging brings fear about health and future challenges. Coming out of a long marriage and being alone makes some people scared – what if they need surgery, become ill? Who will help and take care of them in such situations?

It is important to establish a plan with those in your support network so in case there is an issue you have help. Don’t let the fear keep you from enjoying being alone though, as doing so is a huge part of healing. When you divorce at any age, but specifically as you get older because the dating pool shrinks, it is important to accept that being alone is a possibility – this is part of the healing work.

3. Dating has Evolved! One of the biggest challenges for grey divorcees is, of course, dating 2.0! The last time most grey divorcees dated, there likely were no dating apps or an internet, and these can be overwhelming to anyone, let alone those who are not familiar with what is now the status quo of dating.

The first thing to realize when it comes to dating post-divorce – at any age – is that NO ONE should date so until they have done the healing work. That is because when we heal we become a different version of ourselves. The “me” you were when you were married or first divorced is a completely different version of the “me” you become once you have done the work to heal. When you go into the dating world as the new version of you, you will attract completely different people than you would have as the old version of yourself. Those who want to be with the new you are the ones with whom you have the chance of successful partnership.

Another note on learning to be alone: It is important to learn how to be alone so you can heal properly, before dating. Enjoying alone time will help you heal quicker and better. Personally, when I was going through my healing process I had to accept the possibility of being alone for the rest of my life – this means that I truly love myself, value my self-worth, and know I am the only one in control of my own happiness…it can take time to get to this point but it will position you to attract an amazing partner who will complement and respect the new you – if that is what you desire.

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Life after grey divorce has many of the same challenges others face earlier in life, but also some that are tailored to those who are mature and wiser. Take time to heal and take time to PLAN...this is the best way to make the most of your new life so you can find your bliss. 🦋

Your Biggest Superpower

The divorce healing journey is a great endeavor, and it is not easy. There will be many times in the process that you feel down, hurt, angry, frustrated or even incapacitated. You will spiral down into a victim state – likely many times – before you start feeling noticeably better, however small that feeling may seem. BUT did you know that the biggest superpower you have is actually the one you are most afraid of?

FEAR is by far the most difficult emotion and state of mind to conquer, yet it is also our most significant superpower. A friend with ADHD once told me that the disease was HIS superpower. It presented him with so many challenges in his life, yet today he is one of the most respected and successful businessmen in his field. He took the fear associated with that diagnosis and turned it around to become his fuel…and you can do that too if you are starting the healing journey from divorce.

Here is the most important thing to remember when learning how to conquer fear so you can move forward: you NEED to feel fear so it can push you – it is your test. If you are truly ready to make your life blissful this is a major lesson. Let’s look at how to start this process of moving past the fear.

1. Acknowledge the Fear. The first step in kicking fear in the butt is to recognize that you are afraid. Say it out loud, embrace it – it is not something to feel badly or shameful about. Every person who has accomplished something great, something bigger than them, has had at least some fear or challenge that seemed unsurmountable. Check out the stories of some of the greatest business minds and you will see this is the truth.

2. Embrace the Fear. You are human, and filled with emotion. Realize that the fear is actually your friend. Not only that, but it is sign for you to acknowledge so you can heal. Embracing it means that we are not simply going to ignore it or let it go right away – the fear may always be there, or can be replaced with another type of fear down the road. This is OK! Accept it and send love to the fear (ok that may sound cheesy, but I am serious – that fear is part of who you are).

3. Write it Out. Jot down (preferably in a journal) why your fear has a grip on you and what exactly you are afraid of. Often with divorce many people are afraid of being alone, parenting without a live-in partner, being financially responsible for yourself without help, and starting a completely new life without a partner. Write down all of your fears surrounding divorce and healing. Include how the fear manifests – does it make you sick? Anti-social? Unable to get out of bed? These are all normal affects of fear and you can control them.

4. Change Self Talk. The things we tell ourselves, whether out loud or in our heads, are what we will experience – I promise this is true. Tell yourself you “can’t,” and your brain thinks that is how you want it, so you won’t. Tell yourself you CAN on the other hand, and your brain wants to give you that. This is not made-up, and there are scientific studies that show that how we perceive ourselves and our capabilities will bring more of the same. Start with using affirmations to tell yourself what you want and how capable you ARE. Catch yourself when you think or say the opposite, take a breath, and change the thought…it won’t happen overnight but keep it up and you will see a difference.

5. Take Action. If you envision a happy new life post-divorce, start taking baby steps to make it happen, one at a time. If you want to seek a new job, start creating an amazing resume, take a class or get a degree or certificate, volunteer in the field somehow so you can learn more. Along with your actions keep up the beliefs and affirmations until you see a result.

6. Celebrate the Results. When you see something shifting within as a result of your work conquering your fears, CELEBRATE it, however small! Be proud that you actually made a difference – no matter how far you feel you need to go the focus should be on the NOW, the difference you have made. Keep at it and find even more ways to push forward until you accomplish your goal.

7. Patience is Your Best Friend. Healing is not a slow process, and since fear is often a big part of healing, you need to accept that it will take time…but time is your friend in this journey. Many people want to heal fast, but that would bypass all the learning lessons and self-discovery. You need to enjoy the process because that is how you will be able to look back one day on where you started and feel immense gratitude.

8. Express Gratitude for your Fear. Remember that fear is there to help you, and once you realize this you will be able to conquer it. Always be grateful for the fear, because there are two choices in the face of fear: fight or flight. Those who choose to fight will succeed as long as they don’t give up.

Divorce can create so much fear within us, but conquering the fear is a superpower – a choice you have to become the best version or yourself in order to lead a beautiful life – so take control of fear and you will be empowered. Happy healing! 🦋